Monday, October 22, 2012

Stick to your Guns

When I discussed change it was under the assumption that I had gone through enough change for the time being and was entitled to a short respite, a breather from the constant upheaval that berates and assaults our every attempt to find solace in what has become an ever changing world.  I was making plans to sit and contemplate the mysteries of the universe or at least stand next to my workbench and wonder what to do next.

I should have known better.  I should have realized that life’s cruelties are inherent in our assumptions toward complacency, even if you don’t believe you had the time to be complacent.  Two weeks, that’s what I had to develop a positive mindset over the massive and traumatic decision to stay home, just enough time to feel the palliative and calming influence of having made the right decision.  And then a phone call, a simple phone call rips at the very fabric of what I thought I had; a voice asking me if I was still interested in taking the job….My heart races, my skin flashes with the telltale signs of a slight adrenaline rush and I instinctively respond in the affirmative.
I have a job! Or so I thought. 

Remember when you’re teacher used to tell you to stick with your first choice on a multiple guess test?  I guess they were right.  I should have known and stuck to my original decision, a decision that was hard fought and thoroughly contemplated, it was the right decision.  So why was this, simple, phone call so challenging?  

I’m not sure I have a specific answer but I feel as though it reached the deep parts of my inner desire to succeed, a success that is defined solely by the observations of others and not the success derived from a healthy thriving family and innate self-interest based on the principles of what really matter.
The lesson learned is a simple one but profound throughout the ages.  Stick to your guns!