Monday, March 11, 2013

The Insanity of it all.



Mad cow disease has somehow resurfaced with even more terrifying consequences than ever imagined.  Zombie like infections seem to be multiplying around the world with its epicenter somewhere near the Washington DC, Maryland area with disastrous effects in multiple areas of human functioning.  It looks like the original infections were never really eradicated or controlled as first believed.  

Early evidence of this horrendous and widespread infection is estimated to have occurred decades prior to the original Mad Cow outbreak and can be seen in the most obscure areas of human existence.  The first example comes from Maryland in the United States and includes a 7 year old boy who was suspended from school after he nibbled his pop tart (for those who don’t know, a pop tart is a flat pastry that is supposed to be toasted prior to eating, hence the name “pop” tart) into the shape of a gun, so the fear filled teacher professes.  

The “no” tolerance policy of the school mandated that the boy be suspended and this is where the effects of the Mad Cow disease comes into play.   A Maryland legislature wants to pass a law to ban teachers from making somewhat arbitrary edicts about obvious child tendencies, like nibbling a pop tart into the shape of a gun.  Do we really need a law to tell us that a pop tart is not a threat; both the “no” tolerant policy and the proposed law smack of insanity.

A more sinister example comes from the recent sequester cuts mandated by inaction within the United States and the attempts to mitigate the loss of revenue.  Within the military a decision has been made to reduce the promised funds for education for returning soldiers, an amount so little in comparison to other expenditures that some form of insanity has to be the reason for such rash and illogical decision.

Why would anyone want to renege on a promise to those very souls who risked their lives in combative situations (you may not believe in the overseas campaigns of the military but the soldiers simply go where their sent)?  The political fodder from such a decision is on par with George W Bush’s statement of “read my lips” to no new taxes, and then he allowed taxes to be raised; it was political suicide.

These obviously irrational conclusions and assessments have to be explained by some external factor like Mad Cow Disease, it can’t possibly be a result of rational thinking minds actually concluding that these verdicts are in the best interest of all concerned or even in the best interest of the individuals making the decisions. 

In this bizarrow world of make believe and irrationality there is a plethora of illogical rules:  
In DC - pedestrians that jump on a car that’s going to hit them are responsible for the damage caused to the car. (this makes perfect sense, all they had to do was let the car hit them and they would not be responsible, duh)

North Carolina - fights between cats and dogs are prohibited. (And I thought all dogs and cats understood that rule)

Denver - it is illegal to lend a vacuum-cleaner to a neighbor.  (Lending a vacuum is like lending your underwear, why would you even think of doing that?)

Connecticut - it is illegal to walk backwards during sunset. (Why would you want to and why would you need a law to prevent it?)

Georgia - it’s illegal to say ''Oh, Boy'' (let’s hope your name isn’t Boy)

Kansas City, Missouri - children are not permitted to buy a toy gun, but they can buy a real one.
Pennsylvania – It’s illegal to sing in the shower. (Have you heard me sing in the shower, I hope not and if you have I have some questions as to how?)

Massachusetts - dogs are obligated to have their back legs tied during April. (I don’t even know what to say about that weird law)

Virginia - the tub can’t be inside the house; it has to be in the yard. (Since when did Virginia get indoor plumbing?)

These are actual laws and they were made by actual people, actually thinking that what they were doing seemed logical at the time.  We can clearly see that the incidents of Mad Cow disease have been on the increase and the effects of that hideous and insidious disease has reached pandemic like proportions.  The strange part of this malady and it’s as yet unexplained, but it seems to strike proportionally more often within the public service realm, leaving the hardworking of all nations mostly unaffected.    

I’ve tried to use some levity in outlining the seriousness of this spreading syndrome but I have come to the very real conclusion that in order to safe guard your families and your loved ones there is really only one way to do so, get a real job, stay away from public office and move away from the centers of power like Washington DC or for that matter from the capitals of most countries, cities or states.  The further away you are the less likely you are to be infected.

It’s fairly easy to identify those infected, they are those who think they work, like to hear themselves speak and are easily swayed by shiny objects.  Keep a close eye and don’t let them shake your hand, or ask you for money, this is how it spreads.  Wash your hands frequently and under no circumstances should you be in the close proximity to those infected, it is a very infections disease.

Stay safe and eat meat.