A mother without a father is not the same as a father without a mother. Take it from me, the father of ten children, I could not have survived without the positive influences of my wife. The term survival establishes the foundation for existence but does not explain the symbiotic relationship needed for a life beyond simple survival, we should all try to create that life that catapults us beyond the basics and into the eternal ethos.
I want to pay homage to my wife during this Fathers Day. I see in her a love that I can only hope to obtain. When we were young and newly married she would have this look, her eyes would soften and she would transform from a woman to a mother, holding her babies in her arms, feeding them, caring for them and with a softness, caress them and talk to them, elevated beyond mortality. She would transform, and for those precious moments in life, she would be translated into the angel of beauty that she has always been.
Fathers try to emulate these actions but most fall short of the depth of feelings that come naturally to the Mother. Not all mothers and not all fathers but most, at some time, feel the depth of their existence through the eyes and emotions of those they helped to create. The beauty of birth and the requisite responsibilities of parenthood help us all to look beyond ourselves, gaining an understanding of the divine purpose and this partnership.
We all seem to realize, as we start to age and life's realities bring us in line with the sensibilities expressed through experience. We learn that our parents, our fathers, and our mothers are not perfect, but are more like us than we often like to admit. The differences are often manifest in those experiences and how changes occur as a result. If you’re not perfect now and you have children are you committing a serious crime that deserves a lifetime of scorn or derision from those same imperfect children you tried to raise? Can we only raise children when we are perfect? If not, then where is the understanding of the trials and tribulations that helped to perfect the aging parent in relation to the trials and tribulations that must be overcome by each child of a family?
The world views the family in an often negative manner, supplanting the role of fathers to a secondary and often non-essential role while the role of mothers is also misshapen and marginalized to the more enticing emotions of self-interest and personal gain. It is true that many women need to work, especially now as the economies change and the demand for male involvement is in serious decline. But the need for the family has never been greater nor more important for the sustenance of society.
My wife works, she has for years. She works to balance our finances and support the overall role of what she believes a family to be. Perhaps it was a result of having more children than most but when we look back, and in jest, we ask, “which child would we want to give up?” How can anyone make such a decision? We may not have fully thought through the implications of what a large family requires but I can honestly say, we loved each and every one of our children and we still do, regardless of where they are on that spectrum of perfection or in relation to our position on that same spectrum.
To some that might seem irresponsible and to some a criminal act of selfishness but when I remember and still see the love my wife has for all of our children, regardless of how they may feel, or what they’re current perspective is, my wife, their mother loves her children and her grandchildren with all her heart and as the father of those 10 children I am proud to publicly acknowledge and recognize her role in maintaining the family and her vigilance toward that eventual goal of perfection.
Families are complex, the relationships are complex and convoluted and the experiences of the children as they grow often mishap the true nature of the initial intended events. Parents make mistakes, children make mistakes but one definition of a family might be in how they overcome the perceptual differences that occur during life and still hold true to the foundational principles of LOVE that are encapsulated in the the word FAMILY
I love my wife. I love the Mother of my children and I love my children, all ten of them...in that order. Should we not all Love our wives, love our children and on this day at least, LOVE our MOTHERS?
Happy Fathers Day